We are pleased to inform you of the release of the
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Your email address drew the lucky numbers 01-5-11-12-21-34
that consequently won the lottery in the 3rd category.
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I HAVE A LEGAL AND CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL FOR YOU.
I am willing to send you a free rug simulation.
I know this may sound so strange for you and also extremely risky for me
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Right now I am the most happiest woman on earth.
Every camper should have this laser strong enough to light a fire.
It’s a UltraBeam Tactical Laser..!
-All the words on this page are an ad-
I will be waiting to read from you.
Thank You and Be Blessed.
To your success!
Mrs. Janet Hessian, Network Online Coordinator.
The problem with spoon theory
is that I never know how many spoons I’ll have
any given day.
If I knew I had ten spoons,
I could use them accordingly.
But today I might have seven spoons
and tomorrow only three, with no idea why.
As though someone sneaks into my cutlery drawer
at night to steal my spoons,
but then other times replaces some
just to fuck with me.
Let’s be honest –
there was never enough spoons,
even before I had to think of my energy
as a finite supply of kitchen utensils.
I’ll confess I don’t read much poetry.
I’m far more likely to recommend Australian non-fiction
or the latest John Sandford thriller, like Buried Prey.
But then I saw Billy Collins on a talk show,
reading from Aimless Love,
and fell for his great playfulness and depth.
Still, it took me two years to buy the book—
so much lost time! What a waste.
Collins reflects the world I know back to me,
its solemnity and humour, the inescapable crush of history,
framing it with remarkable precision:
‘But my heart is always propped up
in a field on its tripod,
ready for the next arrow.’
I can’t help taking the book to bed,
to sleep with under my pillow
or snuggled against my chest, like a stuffed bear.
And now I’m doomed to spend the rest of my life
asking strangers, ‘But have you read Billy Collins?’
and stuffing handwritten copies of his poems in their pockets.
First published by NSW Writers’ Centre
Yak yak yak. Yak yak
Yak yak yak yak yak, yak? Yak
Yak yak. Yak.